I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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