you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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