I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
