whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
