Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
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He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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