think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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