i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize