I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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