i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize