Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize