It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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