i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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