I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize