He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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