I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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