I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
