Your mouth is God's brothel.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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