That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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