told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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