Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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