Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
