I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
