Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize