Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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