You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
