Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
