I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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