Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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