You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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