I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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