if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
