one might say we're banned from that church
I wish I only lived at night.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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