New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
