my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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