I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
