thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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