so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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