yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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