Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
