is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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