He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
