did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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