Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This is classic penis vs brain.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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