my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He has the fingertips of a God
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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