you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
