im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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