i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
