I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
