it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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