i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
