This dress was meant to end up on your floor
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize