I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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