yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
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I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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