btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
