I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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