im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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