Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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