thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
